I miss my home, my family….always.
At times, a little more than other. India is not just a locale with a name, it’s home. As an immigrant, the rest of the world wouldn’t ever disconnect me and my country. Even if I speak English — to some, I sound ‘different’. Without saying a word, looking at me, some people would conclude I am not from Australia. So, India is something that always travels with me (a tiny part of it). It maybe known as ‘3rd world’ in the west, for the rest. But for me, it’s the 1st world I’ve ever known & felt a part of.
I’ve known so many people who planned to leave their country & settle overseas — for studies or better quality of life. Some are forced, it may have been an unfortunate experience that changed everything. For me, the move was completely organic. I never ‘planned’ to leave India but when it happened, it was during the time when I was in my formative years, I was trying to make my own life. I loved some of the good challenges & opportunities that came my way, so I continued to show up and kept at it.
Sure, not going back was a choice and I accepted that, along with everything else that came with it. There were no more reasons beyond that for me.
Regardless of the reasons, one of the things that comes with being a first-generation immigrant is the constant tussle that you are at with yourself. It’s a must these days to provide reasonable proof of my Indian-ness, get it validated on some occasions like the national days, festivals & sports. Somehow if I’m now a Steve Smith fan & want him to score a century (even against India), chances are — I would be considered UnIndian. Change of passport — UnIndian. Doing things different to how I had been taught, eating too much non-Indian food — all that, UnIndian.
तुमको अब यहां के तौरतरीके कैसे पसंद आएंगे? तुम बाहर वाले हो गए ना अब! (How would you like the way things are done around here? You’ve become an outsider now, haven’t you?)
I am not the only person who’s been subjected to such judgement. When someone says that to me, I always wonder — Is it that simple to become an outsider? Is being Indian such a small part of my identity that I’ve just overcome it in a few years through what I like and how I do things now? No! Change around me is not what makes me UnIndian. Forgetting my roots, forgetting my values, my culture, disrespecting the Indian history — the story of breaking through shackles of colonisation — If I started exhibiting any of that, THAT would make me UnIndian. Till then, even if the rest of the world stops reminding me of who I am — Dear India & Indians, I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.
Happy Independence Day!
